Arriving at LEGIT BLOGGER status

{oh my gosh, my house and I match my blog design colors! haha}

Ahhhhh!

I'm so happy to be here and writing!

Isn't that what it's supposed to be about? 

Crazy how we can get sidetracked and lose sight of why we're here.

{I'm speaking for myself of course}

So as you know I took a little breaky-poo and it was awesome!

The break was a time of reflection and listening to what my heart was saying

{not my brain}

So I want to get real with you.

This blogging thing was sorta makin' me crazy.

WHY? You ask?

well there were a few things, a few of which I'll share today.

From my view I see this blog world as a fast paced, ever changing atmosphere.
When I first started writing, it felt like you either run and stay running,
or walk and fall behind. I chose to run....because I wanted to have a legit blog.

 As much as I wouldn't allow myself to admit it, I got caught up in the #'s game. 

What I mean is personally I felt  I couldn't be looked at as a "LEGIT" blog
 unless I had a nice amount of followers. I was careful at how I "built" my numbers and made
 sure that my interactions were always genuine, but reaching a number that made me
"feel" better about my blog was  important to me. I had many conversations with myself
where I tried to tell myself this wasn't the case...but it was. For me I started to feel at ease
 when I hit that magical 100 mark...After that, it didn't matter so much to me as the
 number rose,because I was somewhat "established" you know? 

{um silly, but being real}

After I reached the 100 mark my heart and focus shifted to, ok I have 100+ followers

 but how many "readers" do I have? I didn't want to have what I refer to as "hollow"
numbers, where I had a ton of followers but nobody actually reading. 

Realizing that what I really wanted was  readers vs. a zillion followers 

was a step in the right direction,

but I was still missing the heart of it.

I can't expect that my life or thoughts are going to draw in the crowds by the zillions!

I'm really not that smart, clever, adventurous, funny or talented.

What I can remember is why I started this blog.

First of all I felt God told me to, and with that the vision laid on me was:

To be a visible source to women and say "hey, i'm not perfect, but i'm trying"

To show that there is beauty in the messes of our life.

To talk about life being crazy, fun, good, ugly and everything in between.

To share the romance I have as I fall in love with the Lord.

With me keeping my focus on that mission, and that mission alone God can bring the people

by the zillions.

Another reason aside from the "legit" factor that made me want to have a nice

number on the side of my blog I think was for ego. 

{Yeah, Yuck, I know}

But, I mean come on, many of us here are moms right, we stay home and cater to our
children and families. This is such an amazing thing on its own,

but for me sometimes out in the world I feel as if the "at home wife and mom" title

doesn't measure up against a fancy degree or a super educated person.

I feel inferior as if I don't actually do anything. So adding "legit blogger" 
to the title of "at home mom" didn't seem like too bad of an idea.

Taking the break has helped my heart work through this stuff and see things 

for what they are, and aren't. It has helped me re-gain focus on as I said before the real
reasons why I chose to create a blogger account in the first place.

I've realized that although this blog world might in fact be fast paced, I don't have to run
as everyone else does. I can set my own pace and standard for what works best for me
and my life. I'm not on any time table, unless I choose to create one for myself.
I've read many stories of women who have run until they couldn't run anymore.
They got tired and burnt out. I don't want this to be me, and I'm saying this because I
know I can't be the only one who feels pressure to run faster than what really works best
 for them in order to keep up with this blogging thing.
{If I am, then my mistake}

I'm so happy to be working this stuff out now, as the blog is still small. 

I only want the blog to grow as far as I'm able to be responsible for and manage well

all that it comes with.

{That's probably when God will increase my readers anyway right!}

So thank you for loving me friends!

Thank you for reading and being a part of my life.

Potentially linking up with parties you'll find HERE